Kudos!! For 14 years I was a stay at home mom/housewife and wouldn't trade one day of it. Deciding to go back to work was a huge decision but my choice has me at a job I truly love. I am home early enough not to miss the boys activities and help with homework. I am trying new crockpot recipes and my husband helps with getting dinner together as well. However any woman that chooses to be home with her family is far from spoiled and selfish. That is a full time job and the best non paying job one can have. Treasure every moment!!!

There is nothing wrong with how you choose to live YOUR life, and no need for you to defend it.
But ALSO, there is no need for you to put down the lives of the many women who either CHOOSE or MUST work outside the home, and who do NOT all work in "enclosed boxes of recycled air to breathe". Some of them also have mastered granny's recipes. And keep a great home and raise their children well.
Many of them have home made apple pies too.

Great article! I believe everyone needs to decide what works best for them and their family. There is no need for people to belittle those that did not make the same choices they did. We cannot judge others or fight to prove "our way" is the "right way"! There is no "right way". Thanks for posting!

thanks everyone. As I said, NE12Ukid, I'm only speaking of my own experience. I was trying to picture myself in the most dreary of work environments, merely for effect. I knock no one, and I was not trying to come off as defensive, I promise! Just making observations from my own perspective, is all. Peace to you.

Has it ever occurred to you that the "stay-at-home" moms are the ones that run the PTA, the Athletic support groups, those that help at the schools, that volunteer at the libraries, and do the other volunteer jobs that need done. "Stay-at-home" does not mean they actually stay at home. How much would be needed to pay if they stopped volunteering? Just a thought!

I think you went off on the other end of the cliff. I know you were just picturing your scenario but in doing so you made gross assumptions of the life of a working mom. Working moms are not detached from family life, they do not live in clutter, they manage to cook healthy meals, and their children are not automatically spouting off profanity.
Cant we just stop with the mommy wars? I am a P/T SAHM, it is what works for our family just like you do what works for your family and just like every other mom out there is doing what she needs to do.

As a "work-from-home" mom I get the best of both worlds. At first, I was reading the blog post kinda offended for the "working moms" who may see the depiction as kinda rude. But I now see you were simply pointing out the worst case scenario. I don't cook dinners every night, I don't create many "home made" treats, I don't spend hours a day cleaning or doing laundry, but I do contribute as a busy mom of 5, wife of 1, friend/sister/neighbor/daughter/etc. to the level that keeps me and my family happy, while running a very successful home-based buisness. I love my life...and if we each took care of our own, and did what works best for US without judging, the world would be a much happier place! Just my .02. :)

Yes, NE12Ukid, I acknowledged that in my third sentence. :)

I appreciate what you are trying to say here, but as a working mother, this paragraph deeply offends me: "I saw my cluttered house, my mouthy, detached kid.....What love could thrive in such an environment?"

I don't see my children as much as I would like, but because of my job, we are able to live in a better school district and they are able to travel and enjoy life experiences that otherwise we would not be able to provide. It's a different choice than you made, but it's the right choice for our family. Sure, sometimes we order pizza. But my children rarely eat from a fast food restaurant. I cook homemade meals that don't come from boxes or bags 5-6 nights per week.

I just wish that we would stop attacking each other. Everyone makes the best choice for their family...why isn't that good enough?

Tanya, where can we read this article about the opinion of the female psychologist? I am under the impression that this is your outlook on the article and may not be the same for others. I am curious on how this well educated womans psycology lingo (as you call it) really read. Please forward the link.

@Tanya I'm sure you realize how lucky you are to be able to stay at home and take care of your family. Who wouldn't want that? However, in today's economy not all are so lucky. I have been a full-time working Mother for over 25 years and have never brought home fast food for dinner. My laundry is always kept up, I have been a Cub Scout Den Mom, coach assistant, camp buddy and many more wonderful memories that I do not need to share with you. Tanya, what would you do if your husband lost his job? Would you go to work and support your family like he has supported yours? Get out of la-la land please.

Look, guys. I appreciate the comments, and glad you read my post, but I wasn't making a social statement about working moms, or career women. Let me try this again. What I write is stuff about my own life and my own thought processes. If you read my other posts, you'll get the gist of what I do. I commend all working mothers, all career women who love what they do, and think it's fantastic that a woman can accomplish so very much. My point in this exercise was to put MYSELF in a situation which I am unfamiliar with and play it out in dramatic ways to show you that the working life is not for ME, just ME, personally, NOT pertaining to anyone else and how they live THEIR lives. I don't live their lives, I live mine, and can only relate to what I know about myself. The scenario I played through doesn't mock any other family, person, or way of life-it only shows that it is not the life I could live. Of course I would work if need be, of course I would find a way to support my family if my husband could not. But as of this moment, I am not forced to, and I am grateful for that. For those of you who do it all, I am proud of the contributions you make to the world and to womankind. If you love your job, you are doing the right thing. I love my life, so I know I am doing the right thing, for myself. This in no way means my way is right for others. I hope that clarifies what I was trying to say.

I think we all got that part of your message, Tanya. It was just the exagerated totally negative view of working women that stung many readers.

Many years ago, as I stood in line waiting for my four year old son's preschool class to let out, (it was late) I made the comment that I might end up late for work. The remaining mothers standing in line with me actually gasped collectively an one mother asked "your work?!". Several mothers began berating me for being a working mom. Flash forward to sometime later in the week. A co-worker was talking about her life as a working mother and the difficulties she had -- I explained that my situation was a bit different as I worked part time in the the evenings, so that my son's father could care for him. She gasped an said "you ONLY work part time?!" Lesson learned -- "d _ _ _ned if you do and d_ _ _ned if you don't". It didn't matter to me what either group felt -- it was our lives not theirs. I baked apple pies and I taught my son his ABCs and how to read -- not the day care provider. I earned some extra money for the family and when my husband was laid off, we were okay. You do what is best for you and for your family.

I can explain this forever, and some of you won't get it, and some of you will. What evoked emotion in me about the article was it slammed non-working women as being lazy and selfish. I know I am neither. The article also said a woman should be forced to work against her will by her man. Doesn't anyone else find THAT offensive? If we choose not to work out of the home, why are we lazy and selfish, and why should we feel we need to be forced into doing something by anyone? It's my blog, and if I choose to tackle a topic I am a bit unfamiliar with, it is my right to do so. Anyone can request to be a blogger. And I'm not from Sewickley, and I'm not of privilege. We live a very modest, very simple life on very little, and we are happy. My husband loves to work and provide, and does not mind if I do not work, or do work, whatever makes me happy. I'm a writer, a poet, a musician, an artist, all because I am free to be that. It may not pay alot, but it's priceless because it means more to me than financial gain from outside work. You are all free to be and decide and do what you like or have to do. Why should anyone be forced into anything that makes them uncomfortable or unhappy? I maintain that my blog was meant to be a dramatic and whimsical representation of my life in exact opposite of what it is. Some of you take things too seriously. Lighten up and have a sense of humour, please.

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/16/the-real-reason-your-wife-doesnt-want-to-work/ This is the link, given to me by a friend, a woman who works because she has no choice, who cannot stand it, and who would love to be a housewife. We are both intelligent, logical beings, both of us agreed this woman's view on things was skewed and mean-spirited. I'm sure some of you will disagree wholeheartedly. The reason I didn't want to post a link was because it is inflammatory on both sides. I did not want a war. I only wanted to give a perspective. Have any of you ever read any of my other blog posts? Please do, and leave some comments on them, too.

cc-if that did happen, I would work, and make the very best of it. The blog was purely an over-dramatization. I've worked in my life, yes, I have. I've cleaned houses and stocked shelves and did my time at various jobs to make money. Even to this day, I do work sometimes, for my own enjoyment or if I need some extra cash. I don't shun work, and could find a way, but I could never be the breadwinner Joe is. He does it with ease, he works very hard for very little, but to him, it's a joy to provide for us. He says he would be crushed if I had to do the working, it would make him feel less of a man. We are suited for each other, and love each other, and wish to make the other happy. Listen, everyone-I know working moms can do it all, and have for a long time. If that's how you are, and you are happy, many blessings to you. I sincerely have no hard feelings against any of you. If you guys would read my other blog posts <hint hint>, you would have a better idea of who I am, and would know I meant no disrespect. This is a worst-case scenario, played through with over the top drama, to make a point, that a woman should be able to make that choice for herself, and not be pressured into it by anyone else. If work became necessary for me, I would do so, and find a way to make it as enjoyable as I could. I would just have to find a whole new balance, is all, and that can be done.

KNF brought up a good point, and one that fits my situation. I am a "stay-at-home mom", but I volunteer for EVERYTHING. I am the president of our PTO, and a leader for my son's Cub Scout den. And in addition to school aged children, I have a baby. I often don't get all the laundry put away, and I admit that I look forward to pizza night. But my kids, my husband, and I are happiest when I am not outside the home. My job prior to becoming a SAHM was teaching. I worked with at-risk teenagers in a very stressful environment. By the time I got home and graded papers, planned lessons, etc, I was wiped out. Every day was very much like the one that the original post describes.

Now, as a SAHM, I get to support other (amazing!) teachers and help make their work environment better. Many of them are moms and have an amazing work/life balance. I admire what they do because I know first-hand that it takes a lot of planning and energy to do what they do. I still teach part-time for about 7 months a year, and I enjoy it. Every person has a contribution to make. We are all in it together as far as I'm concerned.

Here my thoughts and opinion....I found that article RIDICULOUS & OFFENSIVE!! No one, man or woman, should be forced to do anything by their significant other. Period.I've done both!! I worked my whole life, while I was pregnant with my first born (who's 15 now) and continued working 11p-7a to be home with him and raise him myself ( not a daycare) I did that because I CHOOSE to do that and it worked for me and my baby ( I was a single mother with no help) However, when I got pregnant with my second baby ( who will be 10 yrs old next month)... I still continued to work while I was pregnant but when I had him I CHOOSE to stay home and give up what I loved doing, taking care of other people... I was a stay at home mom until I sent my lil crumb Snatcher off to all day kindergarden! THATS WHAT WORKED FOR ME :) I currently work 10a-2p, Monday- Friday which allows me to wake my kids up in the morning, make them breakfast, send them off to school, work a couple hours (again doing what I love to do) and be home when they come home to... do homework, run to football practices squeeze in dinner and tuck them back in at night!! Again this is what works for MY family! No one way to live is right or wrong, you do what works for you and that's all that should matter! Maintain a SAFE & HAPPY enviroment for your family!

There is a stay at home mom on our street that her house looks like a tornado went though it, doesn't cook healthy meals, and has children that do not respect adults and cuss like sailors. Every time you talk to her she says she is bored and has nothing to do. Not all stay at home mothers do a good job raising children.